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Unlearning Desperation is about that moment when you finally get tired—not just physically tired, but soul tired. Tired of chasing. Tired of overgiving. Tired of trying to prove you’re worthy of being chosen. Tired of calling crumbs a meal just because you were hungry.
And baby, I’ve been there.
I’ve learned that desperation doesn’t always look desperate. Sometimes it looks like loyalty. Sometimes it looks like ambition. Sometimes it looks like being the strong one, the dependable one, the one who keeps showing up even when nobody is showing up for you. And sometimes it looks like holding on to people, places, and situations long after God has been whispering, “Let it go.”
This book is about unlearning all of that.
Through chapters like “Addicted to Urgency,” “Performing for Belonging,” “Crumbs in a Starved Heart,” “The Cost of Being Chosen,” “Grace Over Grasping,” and “Becoming My Own Safe Place,” I’m taking an honest look at the patterns that can keep us stuck in survival mode. The need to be picked. The fear of being alone. The habit of overextending ourselves. And whew the way we can see a whole parade of red flags and still convince ourselves, “Maybe they’re just decorations.”
But this isn’t a book about beating yourself up for what you did when you were hungry for love, acceptance, security, or validation. There is no shame here. This is about becoming aware enough to say, I understand why I did it, but I don’t live there anymore.
Unlearning Desperation is about that moment when you finally get tired—not just physically tired, but soul tired. Tired of chasing. Tired of overgiving. Tired of trying to prove you’re worthy of being chosen. Tired of calling crumbs a meal just because you were hungry.
And baby, I’ve been there.
I’ve learned that desperation doesn’t always look desperate. Sometimes it looks like loyalty. Sometimes it looks like ambition. Sometimes it looks like being the strong one, the dependable one, the one who keeps showing up even when nobody is showing up for you. And sometimes it looks like holding on to people, places, and situations long after God has been whispering, “Let it go.”
This book is about unlearning all of that.
Through chapters like “Addicted to Urgency,” “Performing for Belonging,” “Crumbs in a Starved Heart,” “The Cost of Being Chosen,” “Grace Over Grasping,” and “Becoming My Own Safe Place,” I’m taking an honest look at the patterns that can keep us stuck in survival mode. The need to be picked. The fear of being alone. The habit of overextending ourselves. And whew the way we can see a whole parade of red flags and still convince ourselves, “Maybe they’re just decorations.”
But this isn’t a book about beating yourself up for what you did when you were hungry for love, acceptance, security, or validation. There is no shame here. This is about becoming aware enough to say, I understand why I did it, but I don’t live there anymore.